Hitchhikers and Appetizers
Season 6 The Final Fondue
Now Accepting Reservations!
Stop by Millyways and booth 42 for season 6
and all the appetizers and cumin you can handle.
Your tastebuds and more likely, your earbuds will thank you!
Hitchhikers & Appetizers is now a part of Newsly. Get the Newsly app here and use the promo code: ZERS to get your first month FREE.
check out the show’s history, seasons 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5 below
Shop for HA! Merchandise
Now you can start collecting (shopping for) your HA! family heirlooms that you can pass down to future generations who’ll be sitting there during the reading of the will wondering why you just didn’t give them the cash.
Just look at how happy those people above are (that we don’t even know) JUST BECAUSE they’re getting their HA! on.
Hitchhikers & Appetizers is an improvised podcast based in, and expanding on the world of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. The podcast is created by Mike Gorgone and Bran Peacock and is part of the Improv in Action Network.
Join Trellis Gardeen and Horatio Zinn in their quest to keep eating and drinking for free at Millyways by interviewing the various beings dining there. Trellis discovered an error in the Guide’s reimbursement submission system and as long as an entertainment receipt is submitted with a Guide entry the reimbursement is automatically approved!
So it’s life in the buffet-lane as long as they can keep talking diners into joining them in booth 42.
History of the show
Season 6: Episode(s) IV – A New Sauce
Barf A La Mew & Mankerson Tryst are a couple who’ve worked through their differences, and they’ve stopped by Booth 42 to promote their relationship book Waterbowls & Scratching Posts. Thank you to our guests Jessical Lynn Verdi and Roberto Lewis for playing!
Glenda is from Lovezerp. It’s the second happiest planet in the universe and that’s probably because on Lovezerp, kindness makes plants grow money. Thank you to our guest Alissa Marr for playing!
Nib is the secretary for the giant intergalactic warlord Mogoth whose goal is to destroy every precious moment. Thank you to our guest Paul Vaillancourt for playing!
Intergalactic morning zoo crew deejay Splat Foregone is back and joining him is his NEW boss JohnQuavius Dinglebottom. Thank you to our guests Sean Monahan and O’Neill Monahan for playing!
In this very special episode, Trellis and Horatio’s mothers take over Booth 42 for some rather spirited insights into how your hosts became the beings they are today. Thank you to our guests Meghan Peacock and THE Jen Caldwell for playing!
Chet the space trucker stops by Miliways for a bite to eat and has a jaw with us about life on the intergalactic highways. Thank you to our guest Alrinthea Carter for playing!
Audromitron Parsley of Heptra returns to Booth 42 and as a special treat, she’s brought her mother Passiva. Thank you to our guests Kate Duffy and Nancy Hayden for playing!
Pippa McFiddlestix and Lyfthox Steppenflox are a couple of travel agents who might also be a couple if he ever pops the question. Thank you to our guests Sheri Flanders and Josh Flanders for playing!
Sentinel 6 returns to Booth 42 and he’s not alone. In fact, he’s in the custody of his nemesis Seeker 7. Thank you to our guests Shad Kunkle and Chris Rathjen for playing!
X-AE A-12 stops by Booth 42 during his quest to kill so that he can finally return to his homeworld of Dopple II and achieve The Sweet Release. Thank you to our guest Dave Maher for playing!
Crom Bracho and his rather expressive sentient hair drop by Booth 42 to tell us about life on the frictionless planet Draidus Smoove where golf shoes with cleats are essential equipment. Thank you to our guest Jim Carlson for playing!
Hankfully Yours from the magma planet Lavasa visits Booth 42 and we try to help him chill out. Thank you to our guest Ben Burris for playing!
Ampersand is from the planet Bon Jovi where life is slippery when wet… and it’s always wet because it’s the waterslide capital of the universe. Thank you to our guest Dr. Kevin Folta for playing!
Frogball’s biggest fan Glorpston Glorpston pays a return visit to Booth 42 where a surprise is waiting for him. Spoiler: It’s his favorite Frogball player, the legendary… Wizard Thompson! Thank you to our guests Andy St. Clair and Dave Hill for playing!
Sin Ester of the evil planet Eval brings more than the whiff of sulfur and the stench of orphan tears to Booth 42, he also brings delightful conversation. Thank you to our guest Jarrett Lennon Kaufman for playing!
Carl The Living Planet is a planet with feelings. Lots of feelings. And Trellis manages to hurt all of them. Thank you to our guest Howard Johnson for playing!
Bounty hunter-spice trader-actor-singer Bart Haaahm aka The Haaahmurr returns to Booth 42 and he’s brought his acting coach Chrysal Pvereido. Thank you to our guests Jay Sukow and Jane Luk for playing!
Trudith “Trudy” Frutti from the planet Nuisance Minor drops into Booth 42. Thank you to our guest Amy Kahn for playing!
Casecal Calcase from the planet Ballateen drops by Booth 42 between teaching classes on the culinary arts. He even tells us how he would prepare us as a multi-course meal. How delightful. Thank you to our guest Bob Kulhan for playing!
Purity super-fan Gene Otho tells us about his favorite parts of the Harmonophone and how he can make all your dreams come true when you’re dead. Thank you to our guest John Wayne Comunale for playing!
God… you know, God… the almighty stops by to take various forms in our booth while at the same time taking no responsibility for the mess of things caused by the creation of the Universe. Thank you to our guest Jane Morris for playing!
Season 6: Episode(s) V – The Shrimpire Strikes Back
The Mayor of the Lollipop Guild takes a break from his official duties of leading parades and saying hello to people and sits down with us in Booth 42. Thank you to our guest Amey Goerlich for playing for playing!
Eagle Eazee is a young Eagle from Air Eaglen who’s into traveling around looking to show her DJ skills and spin some thumping beats. Thank you to our guest Jacque Arend for playing!
Jyrell and RO1 are evangelists spreading the word of Bombasticism and the often stern love of their god XOXO. Thank you to our guests Christine Tarbet and Rollin Perry for playing for playing!
An Intermittent Actuator of Time named Ripple happens upon Booth 42 while searching for ways his ripples and flits have affected others. Thank you to our guest Rance Rizzutto for playing!
Yillb Ttirrem is a bartender from a planet of bartenders and it’s fortunate for us that he’s put his natural abilities to work here at Milliways. Thank you to our guest Billy Merritt for playing!
Even though bounty hunter hunter Gingko Biloba cased the joint earlier, he’s a little nervous about being on the show. Thank you to our guest Michael Kim Lewis for playing!
Coreee is a lump of coral from the Crab Nebula where crabs rule and there’s no soda on Tuesdays. Thank you to our guest Alex Lee for playing!
46B2G joins us in Booth 42 on her day off from delivering packages for the Under Pressure System or UPS and also a day off from asking permission for anything she does. Thank you to our guest Aleksandra Bril for playing!
GoGo Stellamint Murf of a galactically famous, matchmaking family, comes to Booth 42 in her quest to counsel those beings of “lower” status on finding lasting relationships in order to annoy her parents who normally work only with the elites, the cream of the crop, the…long story short, the Rich. Thank you to our guest Shulie Cowen for playing!
Aldente Pomo is a pastronaut, explorer, diplomat, and admiral from Gastroterra where everyone is a sentient prepared food dish. When he alights onto a plate in Booth 42, will Horatio remember that guests aren’t for eating? Especially when they’re covered in poison. Thank you to our guest Kevin Mullaney for playing!
Aloysius Vandelay’s company is planning a new planet that’ll be one big theme park and you can bet Trellis and Horatio have an abundance of ideas for attractions and merchandise that push the limit of whatever laws and regulations are currently in place. Thank you to our guest Jason Surrell for playing!
Nell is constantly looking for the next new thing to try. He is easily bored and needs that quick fix of excitement that something new offers him. Booth 42 is his newest playground so we’ll see if it gives him the hit he needs or if he’s immediately overcome by an overwhelming urge to flee. Thank you to our guest Bill Binder for playing!
Jeffrey Jefferson is a twelve-foot tall purple giraffe from the Serengeti plains of the idyllic Panjir, the only continent on a planet that’s eighty percent water. And if he sees you, you should take it as a compliment. Thank you to our guest Brian James O’Connell for playing!
Eternal teenager Scootylou from the planet Youthaltania 637 infects Booth 42 with her youthful enthusiasm and Horatio discovers that he and Scootylou are both alumni of the not very distinguished institute of lower learning SkenectU. Thank you to our guest Karen Cassady for playing!
Scribbellious “Scribey” Bookertonian is a correspondent for our rival publication the Encyclopedia Galactica. He joins us for a spirited discussion where we find some common ground despite Trellis swinging his nunchucks around. Thank you to our guest Michael Astrauskas for playing!
Calvin Howl is from a planet of werewolves called Lunis and he’s here to spread the word that it’s not as violent a planet as many think it is. His body is also unexpectedly hairless (Trellis is jealous) after Snap Traveling to Milliways. Thank you to our guest Sean Cowhig for playing!
Marcus Mucus is from the planet Porto, where toilets roam free. Trellis insults Marcus and threatens him in a manner that would only offend a Portonian, unless they’ve consented to it, which Marcus hasn’t, but Trellis doesn’t care. You’ll also be regaled with the quest for the mythical roll of toilet paper, but you better know the incantation when you find it. Thank you to our guest Andrew Knox for playing!
Famed actress, storyteller, and wife to many Vavianna Vardot graces Booth 42 with her amazing scent and the secrets of her success. Thank you to our guest Amber Nash for playing!
Grabtakulon The Pontific, poet laureate of Vogsphere stops by booth 42 to regale/torture Trellis & Horatio with the finest of Vogon poetry. Grabtakulon also takes a liking to Horatio which is as ugly as the poetry he creates. Thank you to our guest Fawad Siddiqui for playing!
Twerg Sirloos is a space food inspector and he’s here at Milliways to check out the after effects of the food on the diners. He also has a very roomy junk drawer stomach and an eye out (not literally) for Trellis’ nose. Thank you to our guest Tim Stoltenberg for playing!
Our prophet from the future returns for a fateful check-in visit that could well have lasting repercussions for his gods, your not so humble hosts. Thank you to our most frequent guest, Jim Kariwsch, for playing!
Season 5 Episodes
Blammmo is more than Milliways’ head bathroom attendant, he’s also a hygiene expert and an encouraging voice in your time of need. Thank you to our guest Bill Chott for playing!
Jude is an art thief from the planet PlanetSwitch and she can change her face whenever she wants, but she can’t predict the results. Thank you to our guest Geraldine Carolan for playing!
Biscuit is a three foot tall peace-loving Squidgeling from a planet of adorable war-loving squids. Thank you to our guest Chris Mead for playing!
Delphine has been deposed from her high status of Prime Excelsior of Terratellis. Thank you to our guest Casey Busher for playing!
Our series of behind-the-scenes interviews with Milliways employees continues with gift shop manager Yelraf Cram, who regales us with fascinating items for sale and the hilarious antics of Juiciano. Thank you to our guest Marc Farley for playing!
Jarblatt Cackle The Perfidious is small in size but not in self-importance. He’s the most divine figure from a planet where consuming is divine and being consumed is an honor. Thank you to our guest Dan Wilson for playing!
Millicent is THE NURSE and she stops by Booth 42 to give unsolicited but nonetheless charming health advice. Thank you to our guest Jessica Lynn Verdi for playing!
Bucket is from the planet Park where they enjoy chasing squirrels, sticking their heads out the window when they go for drives, and looking for the perfect stick to carry around in their mouths. Thank you to our guest Katy Schutte for playing!
Martia Larts pays us a return visit and as a special treat, he’s brought with him his planet’s premiere entertainer, the renowned weight-guesser… Weigh Newton. Thank you to our guests Bill Arnett and Chris George for playing!
Penhaligon Rutherfordium is from Planet Geminus II, where everyone has a twin. Her quest to differentiate herself from her own twin lead her to Milliways where she serves as the Chief Buyer of Produce, Protein and Spice. Thank you to our guest Diana Brown for playing!
The tiny Queen Oncona of Oncona alights into Booth 42 and establishes a consulate and a principality. Thank you to our guest Trish Tillman for playing!
Thanks to our advice, former mild-mannered repo man Ffeeee is now the God Emperor of Scranton II. He returns to Booth 42 with Squaggs Natu, the ambassador from Treedora, the first world he’s conquered in his quest to rule the universe. Thank you to our guests Andy Livengood and Matt Perry for playing!
Paula Henh is from the planet Carfax where cars have taken over the world and the human inhabitants all live in one big room. Thank you to our guest Brooke Breit for playing!
Cally is from the planet Blutoe where they absorb energy from grass and most anything else they encounter. Thank you to our guest Michelle Gillam for playing!
Zandor is a muscled space barbarian and the ruler of the planet Quazar. He brings his hairy briefs to Booth 42 and tells us the secret to keeping his exposed physique well-oiled at all times. Thank you to our guest Charlie McCrackin for playing!
Peter, the best of Milliways’ managers, stops by Booth 42 to make sure we’re enjoying our dining experience. He also teaches us about the secrets hidden by the kitchen’s swinging doors. Thank you to our guest Atul Singh for playing!
Rosa 1stInSpace is from the planet File X where they are first in everything always and forever. Thank you to our guest Aleksandra Bril for playing!
Snookapooka is a Dramm from the planet Momo where she leads a coalition dedicated to preventing her planet’s sentient pets from having to transform into pet owners. She helps us understand the nuances involved in shoo shoo communication. Thank you to our guest Sidonie Starr for playing!
Intergalactic cab driver Barry Steeplechase kills some time in Booth 42 while he waits for his fare to use the restroom. Thank you to our guest Simon Feilder for playing!
The latest descendent of Zinn Skenekticus Gardeen, our prophet from the future where we’re worshipped as gods, returns blah blah blah, but the real attraction here is that he’s brought his previously unknown roommate Alan Bullion with him and Alan is so cool. So cool. Thank you to our guests Jim Karwisch and Ben Hirsch for playing!
Season 4 Episodes
Muon and Eric are two balls of energy in an infinitely long term orbital relationship. If the word “Belgium” offends you (as it should) this episode will burn up all of your hearing holes. Thank you to our guests Rachael Mason and Susan Messing for playing!
Milliways’ Head Chef Beth stops by Booth 42 to talk about the lobbing off of heads and to speculate about the optimal way of preparing Trellis & Horatio if… IF she were to cook them. Thank you to our guest Shaun Landry for playing!
Fub is from the planet Kritical VIII where everyone is a critic. Find out what rating he gives Trellis and Horatio and the show. Trellis and Horatio, never ones to concern themselves with math, give their ratings too! Thank you to our guest Jarrett Lennon Kaufman for playing!
Klaxon Gazondaberg and Arko Mux of the planet Glastonapalooza drop by Booth 42 to help us see what life is like on a planet that’s one large music festival. Thank you to our guests Adam Lowe and Mat Mellor for playing!
Milliways’ chief valet Siobhanus O’Roo parks herself in Booth 42 and shares tales of the emotional connection she has with vehicles of all kinds, particularly those under her care. Thank you to our guest Nicole O’Dell for playing!
Yeroc takes a break from serving diners at Milliways to sit down in Booth 42 for a chat about his dreams of becoming a bartender. Thank you to our guest Corey Rittmaster for playing!
Ronald Leggins is a very lonely accountant who admires us very much… perhaps too much for the good of his personal safety. Thank you to our guest George Faughnan for playing!
TikiTuki and TukiTiki are from the planet Flulululuwatatapapa where the main activities are murdering to gain a name, dentistry, and sometimes knitting. Thank you to our guests Michael Yichao and Sarah Shoemaker for playing!
Professional host Luxor Granden drops by to tell us what it’s like to be the understudy for Milliways’ regular emcee. Thank you to our guest Ithamar Enriquez for playing!
Fleur Neur Meur is a translucent being from the planet JJ1132C and she’s in the cilantro business. Thank you to our guest Dawn McMillian for playing!
Xela Compromise is a couples therapist from the planet Dualeepa where everyone is a meatbag blob and breakups can lead to unhappy couples being torn literally in twain. She lets us in on the three stages of therapy and joins us in endorsing Dulcet Lager. Thank you to our guest Alexandra Berg for playing!
Sempronius Scoop is built and ripped, but he is a runt compared to others on his home planet of Balderon where exercise and fitness are compulsory. Thank you to our guest Roberto Lewis for playing!
Quell is a very young multi-dimensional omnipotent being from the suburbs of the Universe and he’s on a field trip to Milliways. He’s also rapidly growing up and making the usual mistakes along the way… like being a fan of Horatio’s old band. Thank you to our guest R. Kevin Doyle Garcia for playing!
Lizard lady Positivitus Rexus returns and this time she’s not alone…she’s brought her sister Snazz. Snazz previously left Trellis heart in hand and space dogs scattered about the space port floor but don’t worry, Trellis followed the 5 chronon rule and eventually ate them. Thank you to our guests Gillian Bellinger and J.P. Karliak for playing!
Yet another descendant of our prophet Zinn Skenektikus Gardeen drops by to let us know that his days as a prophet for us are over. Or at least that’s how he wants it to be. Thank you to our guest Jim Karwisch for playing!
Season 3 Episodes
Chackbox Diddlebrain is a stray thought collector from the planet Corosica where frivolous thoughts are in short supply. Fortuitously, Trellis and Horatio have plenty to spare. Thank you to our guest Sheri Flanders for playing!
YouMe WhatThen is from the planet Who What Then, a world where entropy is an aphrodisiac and fun is historically viewed as the opposite of entropy. Thank you to our guest Anthony Jeremiah Nash for playing!
Tresemmina is lead ambassador of the fourth quadrant and a galactic cosmetologist who specializes in hair, fur, feathers, exoskeletons, and tentacles. Thank you to our guest Monique Madrid for playing!
Simulon Webcracks is a writer from a planet of writers who brings news of his planet’s literary festival to booth 42. Thank you to our guest Brendan Dowling for playing!
Uncle Tammy takes a break from her bus-driving duties to exchange bawdy banter and reminisce with her old friends Trellis and Horatio. Thank you to our guest THE Jen Caldwell for playing!
Morning zoo crew DJ Splat Fourgone takes a break from pranking unwary listeners in order to tell us about advanced fart machine technology and fear calories. Thank you to our guest Sean Monahan for playing!
Our guest Mignon brings with her more than tolerable information about her home planet’s dairy industry. Thank you to our guest Meggan Hyde for playing!
The renowned and prolific multiversal space poet Pankran Kelton graces us with his vitality and verses. Thank you to our guest Gary Anthony Williams for playing!
Malexia Montgomery (aka 1738) is from the very exclusive planet Luxuria, where she writes, edits, and publishes an extremely successful magazine. Thank you to our guest Stephanie Rae for playing!
Debbie is an Ambassador For Tourism from the planet Pantria, where they have everything anybody could want and can guarantee that they don’t eat tourists. Thank you to our guest Rich Sohn for playing!
In this episode, a workshop facilitator named “….”. comes to us from The Planet Formerly Known As, bringing with her the literal winds of change and leaks of ideation. Thank you to our guest Jill Eickmann for playing!
Asper Aimsley is from the planet Pernot 17 where failure is celebrated, improvement is regulated, and Pernot 18 has been in committee for decades. Thank you to our guest Ed Morgan for playing!
Roxy comes to Booth 42 in search of 42nd heart for her collection.
Mot is from the planet Opp-O-Site where of course they do everything the opposite way… except when they don’t. Thank you to our guest Adal Rifai for playing!
The current descendent of our prophet Zinn Skenektikus Gardeen visits Booth 42 with an update on life in the future universe where your not at all humble hosts are worshipped as gods. Thank you to our guest Jim Karwisch for playing!
Season 2 Episodes
Ffeeee is a repo man from Scantron II, a world where all decisions are made by the taking of standardized tests, and he’s looking for the Great Answer Key. Thank you to our guest Andy Livengood for playing!
Chandelier is a Good Time Facilitator from Pleasurinda VI where they believe in survival of the prettiest. Thank you to our guest Alrinthea Carter for playing!
Ko FEE is an empathic engineer from the planet Dioretika in the Gestalt Nebula who gets in touch with our feelings. Thank you to our guest Joe Bill for playing!
Sessil Smabe takes a break from proudly delivering thank you notes on her home planet of Niptune to have a cozy chat [with us] about lunchboxes and eclairs. Thank you to our guest Kate Murphy for playing!
Martia Larts has taken himself away from the planet Calgon in search of ideas for making it a more interesting tourist destination. Thank you to our guest Bill Arnett for playing!
Whasighah is from the party planet Flopeera where everyone has multiple mouths, each with a different personality. Thank you to our guest Jackie Uweh for playing!
Frangipan Blarkarwarnilum is a telepathic technologist from the planet Notax (formerly in the Quark Vortex Chasm) where they accidentally steal your ideas and sell the resulting technology to you. Thank you to our guest Adam Lowe for playing!
Suhlayuh Merikantha is an astral projectionist from the planet Plarb who brings tales of life in the cul de sac of the universe. Thank you to our guest Rebecca Sohn for playing!
Chumway Funkenhauser The Third from somewhere in the Dunlop System is looking for something to sort of melt his brain. Thank you to our guest Joe Canale for playing!
Ethelexia comes from the Judgemental planet of Mertikewl in search of keychains to barter. Thank you to our guest Celeste Pechous for playing!
Termin Feckin is from a planet whose old-fashioned procreation industry is being threatened by mechanization. Thank you to our guest Neal Curran for playing!
FeFeelya Monk comes from the planet Hylonimo where everyone literally wears their emotions on their sleeves. Thank you to our guest Robyn Lynne Norris for playing!
Brushy is from a planet where most anything they paint becomes real. Thank you to our guest Liz Allen for playing!
We attempt to match wits with an all-knowing being named Thomas The Eternal who can manipulate space and time. Thank you to our guest Michael J. Astrauskas for playing!
Zinn Skenektikus Gardeen The 6000th sort of returns from the future to update us on what’s happening in the civilization that arises after this universe ends… a civilization where your not so humble hosts are worshipped as gods. Thank you (again!) to our guest Jim Karwisch for playing!
Season 1 Episodes
Due to a lack of interested guests, your hosts Trellis Gardeen and Horatio Zinn interview each other. We loved playing with ourselves!!!
Sentinel Six from the semi-planet Junctionarian tells us of his mission to help others to make bad decisions. Thank you to our guest Shad Kunkle for playing!
Frisk is from the planet Ohweeoh where they walk backwards to go forward so they can see where they’ve been. Thank you to our guest Landon Lee Kirksey for playing!
Our guest Ted brings with her tales of comfort from her home planet of Sealyposturpediarama. Thank you to our guest Nicky Margolis for playing!
Bounty hunter Bart Haaahm from the LT Galaxy stops by in the midst of his ongoing pursuit of Carnies from the planet Carn. Thank you to our guest Jay Sukow for playing!
We meet Oshkosh, his son Begosh, and their ancestors who all share the same body, as is the way on their home planet of Cardigan. Thank you to our guest Adrian Hanson for playing!
We get to know an outlaw from the Unincorporated District Planet whose current alias is The Scofflaw. Thank you to our guest Joey Bland for playing!
Audromitron, “Audro”, Parsley takes a break from her vacation to charm and fluster your ignoble hosts with details of her home planet of Heptra where life is based in co-centric circles. Thank you to our guest Kate Duffy for playing!
From the soul ooze of the Collective Hive Mind planet comes a lonely floating grey skull named Dan who wants make friends. Thank you to our guest Jack Peeples for playing!
“George Washington” tells us of his home world, Cosplaytorium, where they base their entire culture on a different theme every month. Thank you to our guest Jonathan Pitts for playing!
Borazon Blokz tells us about his very serious home world of Partee II and his efforts to prevent it from succumbing to the same fate as Partee I. Thank you to our guest Dave Hill for playing!
She’s a lizard lady from The Basket Of Imperium and when she’s not ceremoniously tearing men apart who accidentally happen upon her planet, she’s travelling the universe trying to “borrow” their DNA to further her species.
Ed comes from Passivo VII a planet he’d rather no outsiders visit. Thank you to our guest Nick Armstrong for playing!
We spend time with Glorpston “Glorpston” Glorpston, a noted writer of notes and dedicated Frogball fan from the planet Shumptau. Thank you to our guest Andy St. Clair for playing!
Zinn Skenektikus Gardeen The 3000th comes from the universe that will arise after our universe. It turns out that we’re a pretty big deal there. Thank you to our guest Jim Karwisch for playing!